Friday, November 05, 2004

Lost and found

We are still recovering, physically and emotionally. I find myself angrier than I was yesterday, though. I’m not sure that Bush actually won the election fair and square—isn’t it bizarre how those exit polls were totally off in those states where electronic voting is used? You don’t have to look far into that whole issue to be sickened by the fact that all 3 major companies that make electronic voting machines have major ties to right-wingers. (Some sites to check out are http://www.infernalpress.com/Columns/election.html, http://www.verifiedvoting.org, http://www.blackboxvoting.org.) If Bush did win fair and square, then that’s that. But why is there any reason to trust these private companies with our votes? Why is there any reason to think that they would be interested in being fair and in not delivering the votes for Bush? You can’t prove he didn’t steal it, since the code for the machines are kept secret. It’s a national shame that most people aren’t paying attention to. Have we lost our minds?

Sleep deprivation is a strange thing. I lost a check I was given as a bit of gratitude by the boss, though amazingly I found it on our floor shortly after I realized it was gone. I also lost an earring last night when I went to see my great aunt in Hollywood, and truly amazingly, I found it in the parking lot walking back to the car. Robert and I are wondering what I’ll lose and find next, following the common saying that things run in threes. I’m hoping we find the election victory… ha ha.

Today was my last day in the office, since I’m flying home to California tomorrow. We did what we could, though there is still a lot of work to do. You don’t wonder why 99% of the volunteers leave at or right after the election—clean up ain’t pretty. I wonder if things would have been different if we had won. Maybe more would have joined in the effort. I couldn’t help lamenting over all the work we had done that not only served no further purpose, but also had not served any purpose, really. If you believe the numbers, we never had a shot at this thing.

This afternoon we went to the mall, since the weather wasn’t good enough to go for a final boat ride. I cannot wait to get away from the humidity—though a cold front finally moved in today. I bought a big suitcase to serve in my next round of travels. It still feels strange that this chapter of my life is over. I still need time to digest it all. I am surprised, pleasantly, by how enriching the experience has been, despite the fact that we did not achieve our main objective. Participating in a losing campaign proves the old saying that life is about the journey, not the destination. I wish, as do all of you, I’m sure, that things could have turned out differently, but I don’t regret having come here. And that at least is my own mini-victory 2004.

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